picture courtesy of Jon Galvez
I know the above picture is NOT funny for those with marriage problems like a dominating wife, henpecked husband, unhappy marriage, sexless marriage etc. These problems are no joke. So I welcome you here in HowToSaveMyMarriage101.com wherein we will learn serious stuff in getting back our manhood, taking control of our marriage and saving it!
Hey guys, Jayson here again. I’m writing this “Your Marriage Savior Review” of Michael Cross even when I haven’t yet completed my review on Save the Marriage System of Lee Baucom. Sorry about that for those of you who are reading my daily book chapter reviews. I just can’t hold this review any longer because I feel so excited to share with you what I believe is the most straight forward, sensible, no BS marriage self help book I’ve ever read.
As you have already known, unlike other review blogs out there, I just don’t copy and paste whatever I can find from the book’s website sales page! Reading other people’s review articles with meticulous eyes will show you that they didn’t bought the book themselves. All they are doing is trying to promote the book maybe just to have a commission. View my checklist in detecting false reviews here.
I believe that giving false reviews is like giving false witness which is against God’s law. In any case it is UNETHICAL.
In this website, what you will find here are my own insights and evaluation of marriage self help books. Note, marriage self help bookS. Not just one book unlike other review blogs that are just trying to promote a book.
Check out the Q&A section below wherein I share what I have learned from Michael Cross’ “Your Marriage Savior” course by answering real people’s marital problems in “Yahoo Answers”.
So let’s get it on!
Your Marriage Savior’s Author
Your Marriage Savior course was created by Michael Cross who has been helping guys in their relationship problems for the past 10 years. Unlike Dr. Lee Baucom, Michael is not your typical marriage counselor. He was not “educated” on the school of thought of therapy and marriage counselling, but on attraction, seduction and being a real man. So his methods and advice are NOT your usual academic and untested methods that are often mediocre in their effectiveness.
Even Dr. Lee Baucom who was once a traditional marriage counselor himself admits that marriage counselling has a very low success rate. That is why Dr. Lee “improved” his methods but still I feel they have a taste of a marriage counselling while I was reviewing his system. Very academic. Better than ordinary marriage counselling but I can say that his methods are more of a “supplemental” or “nice to have” if compared to Michael Cross’ Your Marriage Savior course. So if you found my review of Lee Baucom’s Save The Marriage good, then be ready for a more powerful course! Just don’t be confused with the two book titles
Michael Cross’ Your Marriage Savior course was written in a workshop style type of training. I can say that he is more of a “Coach” (just like the people above) instead of just a “Teacher” or “Instructor” that will bore you to death with their academic theories.
As I’m reading each “manual” (not chapters) and listening to each of the audio trainings, I get so pumped-up (excited) on all the knowledge or “technology” I’m getting… that I don’t realize that I’ve already finished one manual.
- A 125 page first manual
- 62 pages 2nd manual
- Three bonus manuals
- Two Training Audio discs (can be downloaded).
It’s All About ATTRACTION To Save Your Marriage
To be honest with you guys, I’ve already read books about ATTRACTION, seduction and being a dominant charming man so most of the information in this course should not be that unfamiliar to me. But in every page, I get that “aha” moment because this time, I’m reading these methods, these principles in the context of marriage… Not in the context of making women attracted to me when I was still single back then. Although the principles are almost the same, Michael have put them in a new light.
So whether you are a self made seducer or pickup artist through other courses, you will still find nuggets of gold in this course in your marriage. Much so if you are totally unaware on the concept of ATTRACTION and female psychology.
I’m a living proof of how effective these principles are. I was a needy person and shy around women before, but because of my desire… No… My BURNING DESIRE to improve myself, I was literally devouring self help books from the classic authors like Napoleon Hill, Dale Carnegie, Steven Covey to the more laser focus “under ground” authors of seduction and attraction. Now I’m married to a gorgeous, smart and strong woman.
The year was 2006, picture taken from my old blog
And now that I’m married I’m taking the proactive approach of making sure that my marriage will be a success. With her personality, an ordinary guy will be DOMINATED. And as Michael’s Your Marriage Savior course teaches… If a man is dominated by his woman, eventually the woman will resent him leading to almost all the marital problems we have today.
What Does YMS Has To Offer That Others Don’t?
So what exactly is “Your Marriage Savior” of Michael Cross has to offer that other marriage self help system don’t have?
Simply it is YOUR marriage savior written BY a man FOR men like us.
Unlike other systems that were created by women, YMS was written by a man who knows women’s psychology. The problem with books written by women, they won’t be able to solve the ROOT CAUSE of marital problems because partly they themselves contributes to the root cause of the problem. So instead of directly addressing the root cause, they go around the superficial stuff by advising the couples to “communicate” better or to be open with one another. Imagine that there is a fire in the house and you go around adding more fuel to it! I find a lot of such advise in Yahoo Answer. Check them out and see how I give advise based on what I have learned from Your Marriage Savior in this link.
You remember “Men Are From Mars and Women Are From Venus” (written by a man). If you have read this famous book, you will agree that women are inclined to get into “deep communication” to when they have problems. Talking about it even without solving it gives them relief. So a woman marriage counselor will naturally advise to have those deep communication but are really counterproductive in the first place.
Because TALK KILLS ATTRACTION!
Even if a marriage counselor is a man, most are trained (or brainwashed) by psycho drama. Just ask yourself, will this guy be able to attract women other than his wife? If not, find someone who does know how to attract women!
Michael’s course revolves mainly towards one central goal… And that is to make your wife ULTRA ATTRACTED to you
Once you achieve this, you basically took a shortcut in saving your marriage. Believe me, after reading other relationship/marriage self help books… I can honestly say, I KNOW what I’m talking here.
Note: shortcuts are not always bad. Remember, elevators were invented. But if you want the long road, take the stairs to the 1000th floor! ‘Coz that is where an ideal marriage is.
As I was reading two marriage self help book from two totally different school of thoughts I can now see how making your wife stay attracted to you should be prioritized over knowing “academic” psychological marriage principles. Don’t get me wrong, these academic principles are also being taught by Lee in “Save The Marriage” course and most of them are good. But as I’ve mentioned they are “nice to have” and are more geared towards both the husband and the wife. But with Michael’s Your Marriage Savior, it is DESIGNED specifically for husbands. With laser focus precision.
Ok, so instead me babbling about how good this course is, I’ll show you what you will learn by me showing you my advice on people’s real marriage questions in Yahoo Q&A. I’ll copy and paste here my answers from “Yahoo Answers”. Yes, for the past few days I was sharing what I have learned from this course. I feel like I have the obligation… you saw the movie Hitch? Something like that.
But Before That, Just One Minor Negative Review Point
Now don’t go on thinking that I am totally biased for this book because I have one negative review point as well. As you may have noticed by now if you have been reading my previous articles in this website, I’m a Christian. I based my belief on Christ’s laws. So if I see principles being taught by marriage gurus that are against Christ teachings I say it bluntly. Just like what I did on Lee Baucom’s teaching of married couples being equal. I totally disagree with him because the husband should be the head of his wife. That a “controlled-controlling” relationship is NOT a marital trap, contrary to what Lee might believe. You can check my review on this link (will open in a new window).
This is where I totally agree with Michael Cross’ Your Marriage Savior course, wherein he teaches the value of being the Alpha Man (dominant man) in marriage.
So before going to the Questions And Answers (Q&A) I mentioned, let’s talk about my negative review point of Your Marriage Savior.
YMS teaches the principle of “Abundance” although it was not specifically termed like that. Michael is trying to remove the reader’s limiting belief of “Scarcity” (i.e. your wife is irreplaceable). Michael teaches that in order to save your marriage, you need to be willing to DESTROY it by believing that you can easily replace your wife. This will create an aura of “abundance” in you that your wife can easily pickup (sense) through which she will know that she have to “work” to keep you… to chase you. Thus, resulting to ATTRACTION.
I can understand the principle behind that and I agree to remove that limiting belief of scarcity that only leads to being needy (a real deal breaker). But the method or the exercise that you have to do in order for you to cement that abundance belief in your subconscious is not appealing for a Christian like me. Since I can’t divulge what that exact exercise is, I suggest for those who are Christian readers to REPLACE that exercise.
Replace that exercise with the belief that if your wife does not follow Biblical standards and violates Biblical boundaries of a Christian husband and wife, then that’s the time you CAN PUT HER AWAY because even the Bible allows separation on the following grounds (note: these are extreme cases and after really trying to make your marriage work). These should be engraved in your subconscious so that she (or “he” as applicable) will know and feel that you have these boundaries:
- If she leaves you because of her unbelief (like she doesn’t want you to be her head/leader). Let her be.
But if the unbelieving depart, let him depart. A brother or a sister is not under bondage in such cases… 1 Corinthians 7:15
- If she is always nagging you, argues with you and just full of hatred. Just leave her.
It is better to dwell in the wilderness, than with a contentious and an angry woman. Proverbs 21:19
- If she cheats on you! Then she is REPLACEABLE.
And I say unto you, Whosoever shall put away his wife, EXCEPT it be for fornication, and shall marry another, committeth adultery: and whoso marrieth her which is put away doth commit adultery. Matthew 19:9
You can check the details of this in my answer to a Yahoo question here.
Yahoo Questions & Answers
Using What I Have Learned From “Your Marriage Savior” of Michael Cross
First of all I apologize for any grammatical error or spelling on these Q&A as I was just typing my answers at the top of my head. But I’ve made some corrections here so you may find differences from my original Yahoo answers.
Also my answers are based on my overall background as a person, but mostly these examples are based on what I have learned from “Your Marriage Savior”
Click the question’s image to go directly to the original Yahoo Q&A
How To Save My Marriage 1st Question:
My Wife And I Have NEVER had Sex
I don’t talk B.S. We are both men, and I know you want answers straight. No drama, mushy psychological crap.
So answer this question…
What is she doing FOR you?
If she is NOT doing anything to make you feel like a KING (e.g. massage, cooking a meal or anything that requires effort… or even extra effort on her part… like NOT forgetting to avoid grapejuice) then you have an ATTRACTION problem.
If she do treats you like a king, then you just need to ask your doctor to do a surgery (open her hymen… hope I spelled that correctly) and let her heal so that you can easily penetrate. This is extreme.
But if ATTRACTION is the problem, you need to work on how to get it… starting on yourself.
Instead of wasting your time, money and energy in drinking… why not spend time developing your self to work on a solution?
You have anger, resentment, depression etc. Pour out all of the negative energy that is boiling inside of you and turn them into something positive.
Your wife’s sex drive certainly ain’t the problem (unless she had traumatic experience during childhood, or she is a lesbian who prefers men). Women have far wilder fantasy than men… just read “My Secret Garden”
If it is really something physical (i.e. Pain) that keeps her from you penetrating her then your doctor could have already solved that.
So that only leaves the possibility of her losing attraction on you! I’m not using the word love, as it a too much generic word. I’m talking about EROS. Sexual love.
Maybe you won’t accept this. It’s hard to accept really.
But can you imagine a healthy woman who is ULTRA ATTRACTED to her husband but would make excuses of not following her doctor’s recommendation to be able to have SEX? Like that grapefruit juice or that “night of fun”… I think not.
So, again… how is she TREATING you? What is she doing FOR you? Are you her KING?
Or are you her equal? Her friend? Her emotional buddy to hang out with on a “night of just-fun”
If attraction is a problem, start reading books that talks about how to be an ALPHA MAN in the context of marriage… so that your marriage has a fighting chance for you to be able to save it.
Just to add my own experience. My wife is a virgin when I married her, we had difficulties on our first, second, third night (really can’t remember how many). But I know she is trying to make it happen? Why do I know this? Because she is ULTRA ATTRACTED to me because of my character as an alpha man. And also because I saw her computer’s web browser history… she was trying to find out how to make it less painful the first time!!! That is what a wife who is attracted to her husband does.
I keep editing/adding my answer… I have a lot to say but this is taking to much time. But I want to help you out. So I’m leaving a resource below if you want to know more.
Remember… Talk KILLS Attraction. Start being a better man.
>>>Click Here: FREE Video Presentation of Michael Cross’ Your Marriage Savior System <<<
How To Save My Marriage 2nd Question:
Should I Stay Or Should I Go?
You may have two issues here:
- Lost of partner’s attraction on you or
- your partner has deep emotional issues ‘coz I can’t imagine a wife not able to show her body to her husband. Or to have no photos with you?
Note: I consider both of you to be husband and wife even without getting married, just like Joseph and Mary (Biblical standard)… anyway…
For the first issue… i.e. lost of attraction just READ ON. But for deep psychological issues you just better leave her (if she doesn’t want help) until she helps herself by going to a therapist. If she is a lesbian or a total psycho, you can’t change someone who doesn’t want to be changed! Even the best therapist can’t.
What you can do right now are.
1. STOP having deep conversations. Stop telling her about the issues and start SHOWING her that they are issues. I’ll discuss this more later.
2. Don’t go to a traditional marriage counselling. It has a very low success rate. Just find good self help marriage books or people (MEN not women) who are experts on Attraction and Seduction (knows a woman’s psychology)
3. Set you STANDARDS and enforce them on your wife because you are the head of your wife… or you are the leader in your relationship. Traditional marriage counselling will tell you that you can NOT enforce your standards on someone else… only boundaries can be enforced. See why I don’t recommend traditional marriage counselling?
Example of standards = seeing her naked, have family photos, doing things together, GETTING MARRIED after 12 years!
Example of boundaries = being taken for granted.
Standards = the way you expect yourself to be
Boundaries = the way you expect others treat you.
4. Set your belief that you are the KING in your relationship. You are the leader. You ENFORCE your standards and boundaries. The natural response of a HEALTHY sane woman is to be DOMINATED by a strong, confident man. If you are not the king in your relationship, you will lose the respect, the love, the attraction you deserve from your partner/wife. But being the king comes the responsibility of…
5. Being the best that you can be. To be the best father and partner (husband). Don’t be a workaholic (sorry if I’m assuming coz you have too little details), spend time with your son and his mother. You don’t have a family photo? Is it because you just don’t have time? Don’t cheat. It’s a good thing to hear that you are loyal to your wife… but…
6. To save your relationship, you need to be willing to DESTROY it if your standards are not met… if your boundaries are being violated. This is powerful. I can’t explain all the details but I’ll be leaving a resource below if you want to check more.
7 Going back to point number 1. Remember that TALK KILLS ATTRACTION. You don’t tell her… you SHOW her. If you want her to be naked, first you need to charm her seduce her even. Start to take her clothes off. If she resist, don’t get mad. Just stop what you are doing and totally become cold. Punish her by not giving her attention until she gives you what you want. Reward good deeds. Punish bad deeds. It’s as simple as that.
8. Lastly, DON’T BE NEEDY. Everything that you will do… from now on… you ask yourself “Am I doing this out of neediness and/or insecurity?” If yes, then don’t do it.
I know these will be against your current belief system. So you might be uncomfortable following them. But if you do the same things you have been doing for the past 12 years… you will get the same things as you have right now.
>>>Click Here: FREE Video Presentation of Michael Cross’ Your Marriage Savior System <<<
How To Save My Marriage 3rd Question:
Should A Wife Submit To Her Husband?
Since the person asking here mentioned the Bible and Evolution (micro). I’ve customized my answer here with a combination of Biblical truth and what I’ve learned in Your Marriage Savior of Michael Cross.
Biblically, psychologically, socially in order to make marriage successful, the husband should be the head/leader of his wife.
Since it is obvious that you don’t believe in the Bible, then let’s talk about the ordinary promptings of man and woman.
The natural response of a healthy woman is to be dominated by an Alpha man. Not a jerk, not an abusive husband but an Alpha Man who leads and take care of the people around him especially his wife. Someone who always improve himself for his own benefit and the people he leads.
If the woman dominates the man in a relationship especially in a marriage, the wife will lose ATTRACTION to her husband. Resulting to almost all of the marital problems existing today.
A woman who is not attracted to her husband will…
1. Find fault for every honest small mistakes of her husband that will lead to
2. disrespecting her husband even in front of other people leading to
3. losing more and more attraction to her husband thus she will not not able to experience hot passionate sex with her husband leading to
3. Her fantasizing other men leading to
4. Buyers remorse or regret of having married him leading to
5. Divorce (if legal in your country) or a lifetime of hell for both of the couples (if divorce is not an option because of legality and/or spiritual belief).
If you are talking about EVOLUTION, women needs an Alpha man… a dominant man to keep her safe and her children safe from the wild animals… basically to SURVIVE. But men don’t need to stay with one woman especially if he is a dominant man. So in order for the woman to keep the man, she will use manipulations (e.g. drama, withholding sex etc.)
It is a matter of life and death for a woman to try and subdue the Alpha man and make him a Beta man following her orders. A “Beta Man” is a lesser form of a man. So once he is “beta dized” (or dominated) the woman will wonder if he is really an Alpha man in the first place! Or was she just cheated of making her believe that he is a strong man?
So she begins to wonder… she begins to “test” him again and again and again with constant nagging and manipulation. Until she realized that he is not really an Alpha man in the first place! All of which may happen consciously or subconsciously for a woman.
She then begins to panic, her survival is at stake here! She is not confident anymore that his new beta man will be able to defend him and his future children. She then start to seek out new Alpha man. Ending up to cheating, secret fantasies and divorce.
In any case the Bible speaks the truth for the benefit of both the couples. If you worry about the man abusing this power, that is impossible for a real Christian Marriage.
You see, the law of having the man as the head of the woman in marriage… this is ONLY applicable if the man is being headed by Christ.
“But I would have you know, that the head of every man is Christ; and the head of the woman is the man; and the head of Christ is God.” I Corinthians 11:3
Note the hierarchy in a God ordained relationship.
God < – Christ < – Man < – Woman
If your husband is a drunkard, he is not of Christ.
If your husband has hatred in his heart, he is not of Christ.
If your husband doesn’t love you just like his own body then Christ is not his head.
Therefore the woman should not submit herself to that man in the first place.
In a christian marriage, the woman has no power over her body… it is the man who has power over it. The same with the man… the man has no power over his own body… it is the wife who has power over it. So if the wife wants to kiss the husband… the husband has no right say no, because he does not have power over his own body except the wife. Vice versa.
” The wife hath not power of her own body, but the husband: and likewise also the husband hath not power of his own body, but the wife.” I Corinthians 7:4
We are talking about the spouse “body”. But when it comes to decisions and leading the marriage, it is the husband’s (whose head is Christ) responsibility to take the leadership role.
>>>Click Here: FREE Video Presentation of Michael Cross’ Your Marriage Savior System <<<